Praising Good Character

One word describes the key to teaching character—praise. If you want your child to demonstrate good character, praise good character.

There is an important difference between praising and flattering. Flattery recognizes things the child cannot change, like looks or talents, where praise recognizes the character required to finish a task or fulfill a goal. “You have beautiful eyes” is flattery. “Your joyful smile encourages me” is praise. When praising, remember three simple steps.

1. Definition
Use the definition of the character quality you are praising. Precise definitions clarify exactly what is being praised. Often, by looking at the definitions, you will discover several other character qualities your child is demonstrating.

2. Example
Give a detailed example of how your child has demonstrated the character quality. Rather than saying, “You were attentive because you listened to me,” give an exact instance. “Even though there was noise in the background, you kept your eyes on me and listened closely.”

3. Benefits
Show how your child’s choice of good character has benefited you or your family. A choice to be resourceful can save the family money. Choosing to immediately obey has saved more than one child’s life.
When praising your children, try to maintain a 10/1 ratio; ten parts of praise for every one part of correction. For more information on praising character, contact the Character Training Institute at (405) 815-0001.

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