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Look
at People When They Speak
We communicate our esteem for others by looking
at the person speaking to us. Not paying attention shows disrespect
and inattentiveness. By intently looking into the face of a speaker,
we communicate, “I am interested. I am ready to hear and
respond to what you have to say.” When we are inattentive,
we not only miss valuable instructions and information, but we
also communicate that what is happening around us is more important
than the message of the speaker. Giving full attention helps us
retain what is said, communicates interest, and gives others confidence
in our dependability.
Learn to Listen
In its most basic form, attentiveness is responding
to the statements of others in a way that communicates esteem for
them. Listening is an
essential element of attentiveness, and it is a compelling way to say, “You
are important!”
A truly attentive listener is an active listener.
There are simple keys to giving others our full attention. Stop talking.
Eliminate distractions. Focus on the speaker. Take notes. Ask questions.
Doing so communicates respect and interest, and it helps us clarify and
confirm information. Giving someone else our undivided concentration
does make a difference!
Intentionally drawing attention away from others
through sarcasm or critical comments expresses disrespect. Give others
your full attention when they “have the floor.” You will
earn the right to be heard by being a good listener.
Ask Questions When Unsure
Have you ever thought you understood someone’s directions, but as soon
as the person left, you realized that you did not have all the facts
you needed? Attentiveness is more than just listening. It requires the added
concentration of mentally processing what you hear while you are hearing it
so that you can ask appropriate questions, if necessary. When you ask thoughtful
questions, you assure the person speaking that you are able to think through,
internalize, and manage the information or task.
Align the Spine
Proper posture enhances attentiveness and
promotes optimum health for the body. Additionally, our body language “speaks” loudly
to others
about how much we value what they are saying or doing.b Communicate interest
and attentiveness by sitting up straight and maintaining eye contact when someone
else is speaking, because slouching, fidgeting, looking away, or distracting
others all communicate disrespect and a lack of interest.
Align your spine, and your attention will naturally
follow. Be on guard—your body language can contradict your spoken
words, sending an unintended message.
Avoid Distractions
The human mind has an amazing capacity for “multi-asking”—juggling
any number of tasks by toggling between them. It is a valuable
tool. However, there are two potential dangers.
First, we can communicate inattentiveness if we
do this with people. Continually glancing at our watch, shuffling papers,
constantly interrupting, reading or continuing to work while someone
else is talking to us—what messages are we sending to the speaker?
Are we truly giving that person our undivided concentration?
Second, beware of trying to be attentive to two things
at once. Giving undivided concentration to the task at hand and eliminating
distractions might mean turning off the TV or radio while doing homework,
or carefully scheduling time commitments in order to give proper attention
to each one.
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